Adoption is not always easy and in some ways is harder because you don't always have all the answers as to why your child is experiencing the things they are. But wait, do we even have all the answers to the issues or needs of our bio children? I have forever been changed due to the gift of adoption and I have forever been impacted by what I saw, heard, felt, and left behind in our adoptions. I want to fix what my children went through, erase all the bad things that happened, make up for the hugs and kisses they missed, know when they are hurting and why. But the truth is I do not think I will be able to do that and that is hard for this mommy. I can't take back what happened and didn't happen for them. UGHHH!!! Why? I want to. Yesterday a very dear friend pointed out to me that I am trying to do this on my own. I am trying to do God's work on my own. I need to let Him heal my children and accept that He chose me to be their mommy. Guilt really consumes me that I have not reached my children enough or at least I think enough. When it comes down to it I LOVE my children and that is what God wants me to do. I know a great many other moms who struggle with the same thing and it is important I think for future mom-to-bes to know that those times may come up and it is ok if they do. God covers me with His grace. I don't have to be perfect. WOW!! I just have to be mommy to 7 fabulous children. Perhaps that is the reason God has chosen me to journey down the road of adoption and to pledge my devotion to Project TLC. TO show love to children who have never been blessed with it. God has equipped me with every task and situation He has put me in. When I have rough days like today I have friends who are there to lift me up like taking me out for a yummy bite to eat just to let me know they care or friends who call and say they are thinking of me. Just because I have a large family does not mean I don't have time it just means my time is spent differently. My conclusion today: it is ok to have rough days and still love your children. God has shown me this and for that I am so grateful! I love you Madelaine, Owen, Hudson, Ethan, Reagan, Evelyn, Mason, Carrington, Teagan, and Kelten!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Rough days
I think some people may read blogs of those adopting children and think that all is just perfect and then there are those who adopt that don't want to scare anyone out of adopting these beautiful children. Quite often I find that on my own blog I tend to be one who wants to share all the joy of adoption and just plain parenting, but there are days that are tough, not tough because I have 7 children but tough just because. Today was one of those rough days because this day marks what should be my youngest son's 3 rd birthday. It was tough because my spirits were down and my mommy heart was hurting . This sort of kept me from being totally there for our other children. Even though Mason was not born from my belly he was and will always be my son. Today was a day that things seemed to be out of order. I wonder if my heart will ever stop aching for my son?!
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7 comments:
God has a plan for all of us. It is up to us to listen to his plan. You have listened to him, you are doing so much, and you what you have gone through, what your darling children have had to endure before you brought them home, it is a lesson to us all. It offers hope and encouragement that we CAN make a difference in a child's life. It is GOOD to know that it is not always easy. Life is a bed of roses. Beautiful, but it has thorns too. By saying you have a rough day, it does not make you less, it makes you human. It also stands to offer us a chance to know that those before us did not have it perfect, that way when we have rough days, we do not think it is us failing, but just understand it is all part of the process, the process of healing, the process of life.
Thank you for sharing.
Who was Mason? I am sorry you are hurting. Hugs to you.
Be blessed
Ashlee
Thanks so much for sharing, Shelly. A wonderful reminder to me for sure. When our Noah's due date came, I had a VERY rough day indeed and definitely wasn't the mama I needed to be or should have been. Thank the Lord His mercies are new every morning and His grace is sufficient. :-)
such a truthful post, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing words that echo what is in my heart regarding adoption and our precious treasures. It isn't always an easy road, but God did choose use to parent these children for a reason. And He knows best!!
Prayers and blessings for you,
Melanie
www.findingbabyhansen.blogspot.com
I was wondering the same thing -- Who is Mason and what happened??
Madi G.
Thank you for sharing....I needed to hear this I believe it was a confirmation on how I had been feeling. Thank you for also sharing about Mason.You can tell you wrote from deep within your heart and you touched this momma's heart too. It was beautifully written.
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