Learning As We Go

From the day we met London we were told she was not a fan of bath time.  I am not sure exactly why.  I saw the large sink that the children were given a bath in and her care giver whom we absolutely love was so kind and gentle so I am not sure that it has anything to do with the orphanage.  In fact, Benjamin is also NOT a fan of the water.

 

While we were in Serbia we did not force the issue too much but I knew once she was  home and playing with her brothers and sisters outside that we would have to do something.  I emailed a friend of mine who has a child with similar issues to ask her what she may suggest.  This friend of mine is so wise about many things when it comes to children with special needs that I can only hope to be half as loving as she is.  Thank  you E!!  She gave me a long list of ideas to try and we have been going down that list.  Some things are NO WAY but a couple have sort of reached into the "not so bad" category for London.  One thing we are trying is having her play in the sink.  I usually just run the water a bit while I brush her teeth or hair but tonight I decided to try and fill the sink up to see what happens.  Next thing I knew she was sort of putting her hands in to see what this new thing was.  I put my hands in and splash and clapped to show her it was ok.  At first she wanted my hands out but I kept going.  After only about a couple minutes London began to start splashing and moving her hands in the water.  I want her to have fun with the bath not be afraid.  I do believe this is a good start towards that.  Each child is a lesson in the making and with this little spitfire I believe we will be doing a lot of learning as we go!

 

 

She was talking as if to sat something about what was going on.



Starting to splash a little bit.

Then the splashing was getting bigger.

Weekend Adoption Status Check

Well I have to share with you just how amazing and exhausting the journey of adoption has been for us this past week.  It was truly a hard week for us as we were standing strong on our conviction regarding some paperwork that was being said we had to do because of XXXX.  The emotional struggle for us was that we knew the truth and could explain all the details including the who and the what but we chose the high road knowing that by doing so we could be opening ourselves up to criticism and possible derailment.  The truth is adoption itself should never have to fight these type of battles in order to win the war against the orphan crisis.  God never intended for it to be that way.  Only the enemy would want it to be as such. 

  I am by no means a Bible scholar and cannot always tell you where in the Bible it says such and such but I do remember stories of people and events as I hear them each Sunday in church. Our pastor has a way of explaining things and making it feel as if he is a fly on the wall of your home and knows what you need to hear that week.  Well I know there was a story of a guy who believed in God even when no one else did and he took his servant down to fight the enemy even when he did not have an army to back him up (or so he thought) but God did send that "army" and that guy won the war (rough summary I know but you get the idea).  Well, this week when this possible derailment occurred, God did send us an "army" of truth to stand behind us and win the battle.  So, we moved forward in yet another step towards the children coming home.  I choose not to "explain" or "give names" as some have asked because that is not the focus.  The focus is our children and I would like to think that is the focus for all involved no matter how great or small it may be.

I promised I would keep you updated on EVERY aspect. I want  people to read and know that no one adoption happens the same way so that should they choose adoption they will know that no matter what the child should always remain first.  We are learning so much through this adoption just as we have through our other ones.  The hardest part for me is seeing that this is all in God's plan and He really does know what He is doing even if I begged Him to rethink it all.  I honestly love the path my journey is on! 

Real.

 Yes this is R-E-A-L!! 

 Rewarding

Enriching

Astounding

Life changing!

 

 

And I would not change it for the world!!!  This week we moved a giant leap closer to our children.  Next week we know the army of God will continue to fight His battle against the orphan crisis all over this world.  Please continue to keep so many families in your prayers as they journey down the road that will take them to their child.  No matter where that child may be these families need our prayer and our support.



 

 

Keeping You Posted

Ok so today was a stormy day outside (hey, free watering for my lawn does not make me sad) but no storm on the outside can cloud over the joy on the inside.  We have joy back in our lives and what a glorious feeling it is!  Joy that came after the rain.

Our Bulgarian adoption of Kelten and Teagan seems to be the hot topic in many people's world and even on public forums of certain groups but to be as polite as I can:  what happened to us last year is not open for public debate nor public speculation no matter who you are or what group you represent.

Now, moving on for the updates I promised you.  We are rocking and rolling here preparing the house for our newest additions.  Not too much needs to be done in terms of rearranging rooms because we did that when we were bringing London home so that helps.  I already have begun thinking about education (the teacher in me) in terms of what things I will start teaching this fall for all of my children.  This past weekend I was able to attend our home school convention where I picked up remaining curriculum items for the children plus I was able to see and of course touch some new things I think will be useful for our new ones.

I have already spoken with our team of doctors about the children and gave them a heads up so they can keep their books open for more of the Burman Bunch.  While Carrington was at the hospital we were able to see some of our staff who helped take care of her when she first arrived here 2 years ago and they just could not believe the transformation.  We shared with them our new journey and they were so excited to meet the children when we come home with them.

We have names picked out already and will be staying with our "end in N theme".  Our son will have a very special name after someone who really values life.  Our girls have very classic names that I am so excited about.

Some very good friends are already  helping us to raise funds through various ways and Brian and I could not be more thankful!!  We are thankful for their efforts but I think what makes us the most thankful is that these people represent those who really care about bringing children home.  It's not that they are perfect (of course neither are we) but rather that they are representing the heart of Jesus.  Brian in particular noticed just how different these Christian individuals are from so many he has met who claim to be Christians yet their actions and words don't line up.  We also are so excited to be working with Grace Haven, Noonday, and Project Hopeful to raise this ransom. 

Really the work here is done and now I will be preparing our home for my departure.  Usually this consists of making meals to freeze, planning all activities (esp. since it will be summer), and setting up schedules.  I think I can do this part in my sleep now.

Well I think that is all for now. Hopefully by the end of this week we will have more to tell you. 

Sharing With You...Each and Every Step of the Way!

Just two short years ago many of you were shared the startling pictures and story of our Carrington when her blog was created by a friend.  The shear emotions of seeing what our daughter looked like and then hearing what had happened to her medically was beyond our comprehension.  Why do things like this happen?  Why do people do this?  We fought so hard for our sweet Mason. So many people prayed for him all over the world.  We rarely left his side yet Jesus would still call him home.  We found ourselves pleading with God not to call Carrington home yet.  She needed to know the love of a family.

 This is what we looked at when we undressed Carrington for the first time:

 

PRAYER.

LOVE.

FOOD.

FAMILY.

MEDICAL CARE.

GOD.

 

And now we see this when we look at our Princess:

 

 

We are amazed at how many people told us that her story showed them that they needed to do something about the orphan crisis and for many that was to adopt.  My heart was very sad at what my daughter was going through but yet happy because now other children would have families.

 

I am pretty open about why we adopt because I feel so honored that God has asked  told us we were going to grow our family through adoption not once or twice but multiple times.  Even when I wanted to not go on another plane, eat more airplane food, raise a WHOLE lot of money, endure many weeks away from my children, and often face unnecessary adversities...HE still told me to go.  How could I not when He never gave up on me.

 

I think sometimes people who live in glass houses tend to create aversions with others so as to draw attention away from themselves. We have seen it and experienced it. But we are still going on.

 

 

WE ARE ADOPTING AGAIN!!!!!!!!

 

Because so many of you have been faithful to us in prayer and even in friendships we want to make this adoption a bit different and we are going to share with you every, and I mean E-V-E-R-Y detail all of the way from each cost, every conversation, each paper we fill out, who we are adopting, who has helped us and yes, even sadly, who has felt it was needed to deter us.  It is our goal to be as transparent as we can so that anyone considering adoption may be informed as to things that can happen or don't happen.  We want those of you who have followed us to feel like you are on this amazing journey with us. You know, driving right along with us in Big Betty (our new van's name).

 

 





 

These beautiful faces were brought to us through Grace Haven and Life2Orphans. 

We cannot pretend we did not see them

So instead we work for them

To bring them home

To give them love.

 

The children are located in the same country  our triplets and Carrington and Reagan came from so we are happy to say we are pretty familiar with the process and have been able to move quickly.

 

After having committed to working towards an adoption in that country we learned that the children have grants.  Since the children have grants that so many people have lovingly donated for we will apply for those grants to help fund their adoption.   I have a very special little girl (a friend of Princess Carrington's)  who is my motivation, as a Mommy, to push forward as we would and did for our other adoptions. Each time the road buckles a bit I look at her picture and think of all that little girl has endured and I keep going whether it be to obtain documents, apostille documents, or raise funds.   

 

   The rooms are ready, car seats purchased. and hopefully the right size clothes sitting on the shelves. Our next research project will be how feasible is it to have a quad stroller as we will need one.  Any input on those?

 

Right now we stand with approval to adopt children with special needs from this country and that is where we will go.  We are pleased to say we have a wonderful facilitator to work with and that helps to make an adoption go nicely.  Our next step is to continue raising funds as this is going to be a bit higher priced adoption due to more travel in country.  We have some amazing people who are helping us and of course a donation page with Grace Haven Ministries.   Just click on "Patricia" and it will direct you to the donation page where you will only need to type in "Patricia" in the comments section. 

 

Right now this is a list of what things are paid for and what is yet to come.  It is a general list as I do not have all the dollar amounts sitting in front of me but as soon as someone can help me put it on my blog I will. 

 

PAID FOR ITEMS

• Homestudy
• USCIS
• Apostilles
• Physicals

NEXT ITEMS TO PAY FOR

• Airline tickets
• Facilitator fees
• Accommodations and food
• Visas/passports/medical exams for children
• In country travel

 

 

STAY TUNED FOR ALL UPDATES.

I will do my best to post all information no matter how big or small so you can be in the "know" of our family's journey as well as have first hand account of the blessings of growing our family. 

Hardship

HARDSHIP??!!

What really is hardship?

 

I know hardship is something we have all experienced at least some point in our life.  I sure have.  We hear of financial hardships, emotional hardships, relationship hardships, etc..   Adoption is a hardship both financially and emotionally (rewarding but still hard).  It is a hardship that God has given me to dig down deep inside of myself in order to stand up for what is right and for what He commanded.  It is a hardship because sometimes it goes against the very grain society is growing.  Sometimes you may be called to stand up for that which is right but it will be tough and you may feel like giving in.  But this hardship called adoption is also a LOVESHIP of the greatest kind!

    The past couple days I endured one of the hardest hardships I have experienced.  I watched helplessly as my Princess Carrington literally pulled her hair out of head as she cried out in pain for three days.  I could not do anything to help her or stop her. Her hair went from brown silky to chopped and missing in many places.  What hurt me the most is that when we adopted her, those who were supposed to take care of her instead did their best to dehumanize her. They stripped her of any girliness.  We worked for so long to grow her hair out.  I was determined for my little girl to be a shining princess with pretty hair bows.  And here we are, most of her hair ripped out by hand and laying all over her crib and the hospital bed.  That was my hardship. 

   But how can I even call that a hardship?  I mean really.  What did it take from me?  It's not like it was my hair or that it cost me something. Or did it?  Yes, I will be honest and selfish and say it did cost me something. It cost me heartache for my little girl. A heartache that should not be.  I could not fix things for Carrington. I could not stop what had happened to her before we walked her out of those prison doors forever!!

This is what was left of her hair that we had to
cut off so she could not pull it out.  I cried.

This is the largest spot that she pulled her hair out.

I will just have to find her cute hats for the summer until her hair
grows back!  Maybe even a few gorgeous bows.
This is a hardship that this mommy simply cannot
stand watching her baby go through.

 

 

HARDSHIPS

My Princess knows what hardship is.

Hardship for Carrington lasted almost 4 years in a cold place void of any emotion or love.  Hardship for Carrington was throwing up what little food they gave her ALL the time.  Hardship was being treated horribly simply because of her ethnicity and extra little chromosome.  My baby knows hardship the likes of which I will never know. 

 

  But no more. No longer does my Princess go without love and kisses. In fact, she probably would prefer to invoke a hug/kiss limit law some days.  My Carrington has all the state of the art medical care from doctors and nurses who truly embody what it means to take care of a patient.  Carrington will always be treasured and valued for the blessing she is.   Hardship.  No. LOVESHIP!!  That is all  my Carrington Ann Burman will ever know. 

 





 After 24 hours in the hospital they finally figured out that Carrington was suffering from a severe maxillary sinusitis. (I believe that would be a sinus infection).  We knew something was not right and the doctors at Cook Children Hospital listened to us.  We were able to come home tonight so Carrington could rest in her own bed and I could be with the children.  If it weren't for our Sarah holding down the fort I don't think I could have focused on what Carrington really needed.  So a big thank you to Sarah!!  Princess loves you!

 

Yes, it hurts my mommy's heart to see my daughter's hair in the condition it is right now but what is important is that it is only hair and she has her health and is sleeping right beside my bed. 

 

SAFE.

 

LOVED.

 

TREASURED.



Sister Sister

Well I must admit we were all wondering how Carrington was going to do with having a new sister in the house.  She really thinks (ok so do we) that she is the PRINCESS of the Burman house.  And really has been quite the receiver of much attention.  She loves to lick Benjamin because he can't run away and likes to holler in Hudson's ears because he is the  only one who can't hear so he doesn't mind.
 So how was the Princess going to do with another little one who was the same size and looks pretty similar?  Well for the rest of us it has been totally entertaining!!  Watching the two girls has made us laugh sometimes to the point of crying.  London and Carrington have so many similar traits and mannerisms that we say they must have been separated at birth.  The first thing we noticed is curiosity on both girls' parts as to who this other person was but for London that was short lived probably due to her coming from the orphanage.  Now Carrington, we think she wonder what store we brought this girl from and what exactly is the return policy.  That mostly came from when London would take one of Carrington's toys.  I never saw Carrington scoot so fast and pull herself close enough to snatch it back.  Now, there is also where London is playing with a toy and Carrington decides that no she is not going to play with that and proceeds to take it away from London.  We try hard not to interfere so the girls can figure things and each other out.  Well, let me tell you....London may be 8 pounds lighter but she can hold her own!!
  The girls wear the same size clothing only Carrington fills it out more than London whereas London has 1/2 size bigger feet and much skinnier ones.  London's hair is darker than Carrington's but not by too much.  The girls go in the same stroller and already we have been asked if they are twins.  So now I have a set of twins and triplets.  Hmmmm works for me!!  As far as ability goes, London is more mobile than Carrington but they both seem to be at the same level cognitively.  London of course did not go through the same extreme health conditions Carrington did and for that we are so grateful to those who took care of her at her orphanage.  London was not cast aside but was instead constantly held and kissed on thus the much easier transition for her. 
  Brian and I hope the girls grow up being best of friends as sisters.  London is 17 months older so that is not really all that much.  I can see these two staying up late and whispering until we have to tell them to go to sleep NOW.  This will make my heart smile! 

Both girls are all about putting their legs in different positions and locations.

Notice the legs.

Both were singing their loud songs.  London looks upset but she was
not. She just takes her singing very deep!

Celebrating London's 7th birthdays with cute matching new outfits
while dangling things in their hands.  Neither girl keeps their hands still.

This was the initial "meet and greet" play session.  London dove
right in with the licking of toys and Carrington was wondering
just who this was.

Ahha!  Here we have the "I had the toothbrush first so give it back"
conversation.

Two sisters enjoying big brother Ethan's baseball game.


 

What can I say?!  Inescapable joy has found its way into my life as a mommy!  And I have God to praise for that!!!

London Joy Burman

Joy from God has reached our family and home.


 

Chunky Monkey

These days Benjamin is just growing and growing!  He has always been a happy baby and pretty laid back (unless you wake him up early).  One of the best parts of being his mommy is being able to watch every little thing he does!  Lately, Benjamin thinks he is a soccer player with the kicking of his legs at lighting speed or a sprinkler that just pivots around and around.  When it is time to wake up in the morning I walk into his room and say "Benjamin. Benjamin. It's Mommy." And I am greeted with the cutest of smiles!  His 3 tooth smile and beautiful blue eyes melts anyone's heart who is within sight of him.  He is becoming a real ladies kind of guy.  He already flirts and steals their hearts with just a flash of his smile.  I love this handsome hank!

 

Who Me? How Did That Happen?

Carrington just is amazing!  Watching her every day is like being in the front row of the world's greatest movie!  Each day Carrington does something that shows she is a determined little girl who will do amazing things.

When we first brought Carrington home and she was literally dying our prayers were just on asking God to let her live. We did not ask for her to walk, talk, or anything.  As a matter of fact, as the doctors conducted their tests and her MRI we were told that her brain had shrunk significantly and it was not known how much she will be affected when she grew older.  So what we decided was best for Carrington was to literally take her back to an infant stage of life.  We literally had to teach her it was ok to be held and we loved on her just like you do a baby.

Fast forward 2 years and millions of kisses and hugs, we see our Carrington's personality shining through.  She is called Princess at our house more than she is Carrington.  She knows how to get her whole family running to her at neck breaking speed.  Her ability to make us all laugh is incredible.  And who can resist a big sloppy kiss from her?!  Carrington's latest thing is to scoot to any room in the house, shut the door and then explore.  She is mischievous!  Take a look at those eyes. It's like she is saying,

"gee who did that?"

"How did that happen?'

"why does this drawer keep opening?"

 

and then her grand finale of looks is

 

AREN'T I SO CUTE?!

 

 

 

One of Those TEENAGERS!

   So many times I hear adults say "TEENAGERS!!!" (mostly with exasperation) and that breaks my heart because I think it is belittling a generation of people. Yes, there are many young people out there who may need a lesson in manners or need to learn the world is not about them but the fact remains there are plenty of young people who have amazing hearts and impeccable knowledge.             

                                                                                                                           

   I may be bias but my daughter is one of those young people who care about others and has wonderful manners.  And I am proud to say she also has friends who have the same hearts and minds.  Sasha Carpenter is one of those such friends and young people.  Not to mention she is the daughter of my amazing friend Stephanie.  Sasha was adopted from Russia when she was just a young girl by Stephanie and Brian.  Now Sasha is reaching the age of 16; an age when most orphans must leave the orphanage and live a life on the streets. Sasha has created a blog dedicated to orphans who are about to age out.  Please go over and read her blog and then leave her an encouraging word for being one of those "TEENAGERS" many say with love and respect and admiration.

 

http://www.hopeforisolde.blogspot.com/

Picture Day

 

SOMETIMES ALL YOU NEED ARE PICTURES!

 

Spring and Flowers, Spring and Flowers Go Together Like.....

Ok so I know I can't sing but I love that song "Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage." And that is what came to mind when I was thinking about a title for this post.

As many of you know we shared in our last post about the new journey our family is traveling on to adopt 3 children from Eastern Europe.  Well, I am also very excited to say that another friend is also journeying down the same road to bring home a son with spina bifida.  Together we have decided to fund raise as a team to really be there to lift each other up and support each other at the same time.  Our first fundraiser together is so fitting for this time of year. We are so pleased to be able to help earn the money needed for our 4 children through Flower Power Fundraising.  This is a great fundraiser that will keep on blessing you year after year.  You can order flower bulbs that will be shipped directly to you with a 100% guarantee and then you get the fun of putting them in your flower beds and watching the blooms color your world.  And what is even better is that the Lannings and us will receive 50% of the sales.  This can add up quickly and will help our families reach our goal quite quickly.

 I can already see my garden just gleaming with color like my grandmother's used to.  I always said I would have a garden like Grandma's. She just had a natural green thumb and I tried to learn as much as I could from her.  While I was always learning from her I never thought there would be anything I could teach her.  Well I was wrong.  Just 2 weeks before my grandma passed away her and I were chatting on the phone as we always did each week. She told me that she went next door to her neighbor's house and used the computer to read my blog. Now mind you I had told her about our blog for a couple years but my grandma not only did not own a computer she still did not know how to use her VCR :)  She told me that she read my blog from beginning to end.  Then the last words she ever spoke to me were "Now I understand Shelly."  She was referring to why adoption was important to me and why I (Brian and I) chose to adopt. Grandma was so worried about me and what adopting children with special needs would bring to me.  Then she read. And she understood. She learned.  So in a way my garden is a tribute to my Grandma who always taught me and whose last lesson to me would be one of never give up. 

With that story I will leave you with the link to our Flower Power fundraiser.  Please order and please share on any avenue you can.  Thank you from the Burmans and Lannings.

http://www.flowerpowerfundraising.com/campaign?campaign_id=15812

Passport to London

I have realized that along this journey I have not been alone. There are times it has seemed as if I am the only one on the road filled with potholes and bumps and detours.  I think I was so consumed looking in my rear view mirrors that I did not see who was right beside me the whole time. 

 

My family.  They have stood by me, endured with me, cried and laughed with me.  They are my greatest blessing.  God truly blessed me and my life with these amazing children and wonderful husband.  My rock.  My family has been a rock that I am building a life on.  Thank you Jesus!

 

So many things to reflect on I know.  Right now my journey has set forth a new course thanks to God.  He did measure  my faith nor did he score my mistakes.  He simply loved me and waited patiently for me.  My new course has been set.  I cannot say I won't remember the potholes but what I can say is I will not let those potholes determine my course.  This is about my Passport to London and the JOY that has found a way to my heart.