Dear Mason
Your 4th birthday is coming up in only a few days so I wanted to write you a letter to just share with you how your short little life forever changed mine.
Just 4 short years ago you made a very early entrance into this world. You still had over 17 weeks to grow and develop but unfortunately the place in which you were to do all that no longer was safe for you. At first the doctors had to give you breath so you could start your life in this world. You did not have a chance to voice your opinion on entering a cold place but the doctors and nurses moved quickly to help you get settled in. Only a few days later did the doctors discover you had a very rare and deadly disease that had already attacked your lungs and weakened your body. Things were not looking very promising for you and you were going through all of this without the love of a mommy or daddy. Each day things continued to mount the odds against your little body but God had a plan.
Your daddy and I learned about a little boy who needed prayer because those who did not see your value and purpose were determining that the best course was to remove all of the hope and hard work God had placed in the hands of the doctors and nurses. We called. We prayed. Then 72 hours later there we were standing in the hospital in the NICU of Baylor All Saints signing papers that declared we were now the parents of a precious little boy and his name was to be Mason Quaid Burman. God knew.
The moment we laid eyes on your little body snuggled so warm in that little incubator our hearts were flooded with love. Love for our son. Our son who was to change our lives forever. Each day Mommy would visit you three times. Each night after I tucked all of your siblings in bed I would come up to see you and read books to you. Oh how I loved reading to you and you so loved it as well! I would reach my hand in to touch your little hand and soon you would wrap those tiny fingers around one of mine and just rest while I read to you.
You began to make a remarkable recovery and the doctors kept telling us it was because you now had a family who loved you so much. Oh my boy, how we loved you with all of our hearts!! Then Thanksgiving evening another illness attacked your little body and mommy and daddy were called and told. We rushed to your side and to hear what the doctors had to say. This was something they said you would not be able to fight with your body still tired and recovering from the first illness. I stayed with you for 2 days and finally went home to shower and get daddy so he could come visit. Upon our return we walked up to a parent's worst nightmare: a team of doctors and nurses wanting to talk to us about our wishes for you. Our wishes were for you to get strong and come home to play with your brother and sister. Our wishes were for you to know just how much we love you and how blessed we were to be your mommy and daddy. God has His plan.
That Sunday was the worst day a parent could ever face. We were finally able to hold you after 20 minutes of staff doing their very best to carefully place you in my arms. We loved on you and let you rest back in your bed until we knew that God was calling you home. You fulfilled the purpose He had for you and now it was time to go home. We were told you were only going to be with us for maybe 10 minutes after we took you off the ventilator but you and mommy had other plans didn't we. I removed my sweatshirt so you could feel the touch of my body against yours which is something you had never felt. I lifted you up to my shoulder while singing Christmas songs. The nurse knew I loved Christmas and heard me tell your daddy that you would never hear me sing Christmas songs so she put some on for us. The first words that came out of the radio were "sleep in heavenly peace". And for the next 2 hours and 10 minutes you snuggled against my chest and we rocked together. Then my heart felt a feeling that I cannot explain and it was then I knew you left this earth to go home to Jesus.
Your ceremony was a Christmas celebration attended by so many people including many of the deputies your daddy worked with. I could not see my boy riding in a Hearst so I called the Chief Deputy and asked if you could ride home in your daddy's patrol car. Oh my boy, what an amazing sight it was to see so many sheriff deputies and friends come to show you just how special of a boy you were!
Mason, our dreams and hopes for you were no different than they were for Ethan or Madelaine. You are our son given to us by God and that was all that mattered. I will not pretend I could understand why you could not come home with us but this was all a part of God's plan. You see my son, it was because of you that your daddy and I are now the proud parents of 8 precious lives whom we never would have known had it not been for you. Eight siblings who will bless our lives and our homes thanks to their brother, Mason. I never knew there could be such a love as the love I have for you. It is a love that is without words because it is beyond description. My eyes and heart have forever been changed because of you. I am not a perfect mom but my love for you and your brothers and sisters in a perfect love. You made my life so much sweeter and gave me so much more than I could ever give you. Thank you my sweet boy for those wonderful memories of reading to you and taking care of you! But most of all, thank you for giving me the privalege and honor to say I am the mom of Mason, Ethan, Owen, Kelten, Hudson, Teagan, Benjamin, Madelaine, Evelyn, Reagan, and Carrington!
You now have both your Great Grandpa and Great Grandma there with you so I know you will get to know them just as I was blessed to know them. God had a plan for you and He chose your daddy and I to be the recipients of His great plan. While you did not have a voice that anyone could hear, your tiny little presence has made a voice for those who do not have one. I promise you that your daddy and I will never stop fighting for those without a voice just as you did not stop your fight. We will continue to open our hearts and homes to any child God calls us to and that is because of you and what you taught us. Now that is a lasting legacy! Mommy loves you my sweet boy. Happy 4th Birthday son! I miss you dearly!!
Love,
Mommy
Your 4th birthday is coming up in only a few days so I wanted to write you a letter to just share with you how your short little life forever changed mine.
Just 4 short years ago you made a very early entrance into this world. You still had over 17 weeks to grow and develop but unfortunately the place in which you were to do all that no longer was safe for you. At first the doctors had to give you breath so you could start your life in this world. You did not have a chance to voice your opinion on entering a cold place but the doctors and nurses moved quickly to help you get settled in. Only a few days later did the doctors discover you had a very rare and deadly disease that had already attacked your lungs and weakened your body. Things were not looking very promising for you and you were going through all of this without the love of a mommy or daddy. Each day things continued to mount the odds against your little body but God had a plan.
Your daddy and I learned about a little boy who needed prayer because those who did not see your value and purpose were determining that the best course was to remove all of the hope and hard work God had placed in the hands of the doctors and nurses. We called. We prayed. Then 72 hours later there we were standing in the hospital in the NICU of Baylor All Saints signing papers that declared we were now the parents of a precious little boy and his name was to be Mason Quaid Burman. God knew.
The moment we laid eyes on your little body snuggled so warm in that little incubator our hearts were flooded with love. Love for our son. Our son who was to change our lives forever. Each day Mommy would visit you three times. Each night after I tucked all of your siblings in bed I would come up to see you and read books to you. Oh how I loved reading to you and you so loved it as well! I would reach my hand in to touch your little hand and soon you would wrap those tiny fingers around one of mine and just rest while I read to you.
You began to make a remarkable recovery and the doctors kept telling us it was because you now had a family who loved you so much. Oh my boy, how we loved you with all of our hearts!! Then Thanksgiving evening another illness attacked your little body and mommy and daddy were called and told. We rushed to your side and to hear what the doctors had to say. This was something they said you would not be able to fight with your body still tired and recovering from the first illness. I stayed with you for 2 days and finally went home to shower and get daddy so he could come visit. Upon our return we walked up to a parent's worst nightmare: a team of doctors and nurses wanting to talk to us about our wishes for you. Our wishes were for you to get strong and come home to play with your brother and sister. Our wishes were for you to know just how much we love you and how blessed we were to be your mommy and daddy. God has His plan.
That Sunday was the worst day a parent could ever face. We were finally able to hold you after 20 minutes of staff doing their very best to carefully place you in my arms. We loved on you and let you rest back in your bed until we knew that God was calling you home. You fulfilled the purpose He had for you and now it was time to go home. We were told you were only going to be with us for maybe 10 minutes after we took you off the ventilator but you and mommy had other plans didn't we. I removed my sweatshirt so you could feel the touch of my body against yours which is something you had never felt. I lifted you up to my shoulder while singing Christmas songs. The nurse knew I loved Christmas and heard me tell your daddy that you would never hear me sing Christmas songs so she put some on for us. The first words that came out of the radio were "sleep in heavenly peace". And for the next 2 hours and 10 minutes you snuggled against my chest and we rocked together. Then my heart felt a feeling that I cannot explain and it was then I knew you left this earth to go home to Jesus.
Your ceremony was a Christmas celebration attended by so many people including many of the deputies your daddy worked with. I could not see my boy riding in a Hearst so I called the Chief Deputy and asked if you could ride home in your daddy's patrol car. Oh my boy, what an amazing sight it was to see so many sheriff deputies and friends come to show you just how special of a boy you were!
Mason, our dreams and hopes for you were no different than they were for Ethan or Madelaine. You are our son given to us by God and that was all that mattered. I will not pretend I could understand why you could not come home with us but this was all a part of God's plan. You see my son, it was because of you that your daddy and I are now the proud parents of 8 precious lives whom we never would have known had it not been for you. Eight siblings who will bless our lives and our homes thanks to their brother, Mason. I never knew there could be such a love as the love I have for you. It is a love that is without words because it is beyond description. My eyes and heart have forever been changed because of you. I am not a perfect mom but my love for you and your brothers and sisters in a perfect love. You made my life so much sweeter and gave me so much more than I could ever give you. Thank you my sweet boy for those wonderful memories of reading to you and taking care of you! But most of all, thank you for giving me the privalege and honor to say I am the mom of Mason, Ethan, Owen, Kelten, Hudson, Teagan, Benjamin, Madelaine, Evelyn, Reagan, and Carrington!
You now have both your Great Grandpa and Great Grandma there with you so I know you will get to know them just as I was blessed to know them. God had a plan for you and He chose your daddy and I to be the recipients of His great plan. While you did not have a voice that anyone could hear, your tiny little presence has made a voice for those who do not have one. I promise you that your daddy and I will never stop fighting for those without a voice just as you did not stop your fight. We will continue to open our hearts and homes to any child God calls us to and that is because of you and what you taught us. Now that is a lasting legacy! Mommy loves you my sweet boy. Happy 4th Birthday son! I miss you dearly!!
Love,
Mommy
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| Mason Quaid Burman |
3 comments:
What a beautiful letter and a beautiful boy!
That was simply beautiful, Shelly. What a legacy that tiny little boy has left! Thank you for sharing your heart and more of his story. We'll be thinking of you during this difficult anniversary.
Love to you all!!!
Such a powerful letter to your sweet boy! He has indeed left an imprint on his family and world.
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