2 Years Home For the Triplets

May 2, 2010

After days of dealing with a volcano holding us back from coming home, the triplets arrived home in the arms of Madelaine and myself.  Three little ones God blessed with Down syndrome were about to embark on a new life as Burmans.  All 3 children were raised in the same orphanage and even in the same groupa but each would come home affected differently by the treatment they received during their almost 6 years.  

Evelyn was the smallest one in height and weight weighing in at a mere 19 pounds. She is now 40 lbs and by far the tallest and most active of the three. She has been diagnosed not only with Ds but she also has severe autism and attachment disorder.  Right now she is still nonverbal but is slowly picking up sign language.  Her autism has been a difficult diagnosis to deal with as it is such a barrier to so much for her.  Our biggest battle with Evelyn is the fact that she literally eats any and everything in her path.  We are trying to find out how to deal with this because it can be very dangerous what she eats.

Hudson was the middle child weighing in at 20 lbs and literally the middle in birth dates. He now weighs 34 pounds and is without a doubt the smartest little guy.  His diagnosis of Ds and deaf does not slow his  little mind down in the least. Hudson can sign so many words and even a few sentences. His ability to do puzzle and create things is amazing! What we struggle with his motivation for Hudson. If you let him, he would sit in one spot all day and never move. Walking is not his idea of fun and forget climbing or anything else of that nature. It is not that he can't, it's that he WON'T!  Soon he will realize that if he wants something he will have to move to get it.

Owen, our oldest of the triplets, is very much his own person. When he was at the orphanage they did not like him at all and even told us that. He received much abuse and that has dramatically affected him!  It is only now that we are beginning to see a little boy emerge from the broken, angry, and frustrated little person we brought home 2 years ago.  He struggles severely with sensory issues but we have an idea on his triggers and are able to manage them most times. Owen has had traumatic issues with eating and has a gbutton now in order for him to get the nutrition he needs. We backed off trying to get him to eat foods and ever since then have allowed him to tell us when and if he wants to eat something. Now Owen comes up to us quite often and will want tastes of anything without texture such as yogurt or applesauce. No matter what time it is we give him some tastes to show him eating is pleasureable. Even when he had speech therapy they were trying to make him eat and he just didn't want to.  We stopped speech because they wanted things that we just felt were not what Owen needed and ever since then he has done remarkable!

Having the triplets home for 2 years has brought a lot of memories to our family and home.  It has also been a major learning experience in parenting as we have no idea all the things our children endured. Yes, we have ideas but that still does not help us to erase all that was done.  When I first brought the triplets home I had ideas as to how we were going to parent them.  I set up therapies, went to all doctor appointments and even had their rooms set up based on the info we were given about the children.  It is now that I am tossing all those "ideas and plans" out of the window and embark on a new and uncharted journey. Sometimes a parent must step back and evaluate their parenting style and how it is or is not working for each child. That has been the case for me with the triplets. Right now Brian and I have decided that we need to sort of go back to square 2 and really work with each one where they are at.  Now for each of them it is a vastly different place. Hudson can do all sorts of academic things whereas Owen and Evelyn really are not ready for those things.  With that in the forefront of my parenting ideas I hope to be able to chart a new course for the triplets and what their future holds is tailored made for them by God and I am choosing to accept that rather than trying hard to prove to the world that my children can and will be productive members of society in such and such a way. We will get there I know but it may look different for each one!

A swing still can put a smile on Evelyn's face.

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Often this is Evelyn's look but what it is is that she is being swung so high and that actually allows her brain to organize and concentrate.

Her face sure has grown from a baby face to that of a little girl!

This is what your face will look like after you too eat dirt.

Her blue eyes are so beautiful. Evelyn still is nonverbal but her eyes can say more than words can.

The Professor is contemplating the theory of actually moving can equal fun.

Hudson smiles with his whole face. He is such a sweet boy!

Hudson's smile can melt your heart. It usually does of all the ladies in church!

Owen's signature trait is his tongue sticking out of his mouth but to us that shows he is happy.

Owen is our serious guy. He went through a lot in the  orphanage and that has sadly affected him deeply. Only time and our love can help erase those effects.