One Year Ago...

12 months

On this day, in the year 2011, my life as a mommy changed.  I met my youngest daughter.  I did not give birth to her but my heart grew and then the moment she was placed in my arms a flood of emotions came over me. This precious little life, created by God, entrusted to me and Brian.  A life needing love, protection, guidance, and acceptance. Then what is so different?  She waited almost 4 long, agonizing, solitary years.  When sickness overtook her she suffered alone.  At night she was not tucked in.  Kisses and sweet songs were never sung.  

God knew.

He knew.

He knew Carrington needed a mommy and that was to be me!

Carrington came home looking like a scared and emaciated child.  We did not know how she held on for so long other than to say God had a purpose for her. She had not eaten for so long that she could not keep any amount of nutrition in her so her body went into starvation mode.  Comfort to her was not something she could handle.  Touch was actually painful for her.  Eye contact was so rare.  Smiles, when they rarely came, were through severely rotted teeth.  No one took the time or interest to make sure she received proper nutrition and love.

Then you take a look at today. One year later from the day we met her.  10 months later from the day she landed on U.S. soil only to be taken to a hospital so she could receive all the medical attention her little body needed.  Now Carrington is a vivacious, entertaining, smiling, laughing, loving child with more than enough arms to hold her and love on her.  She not only has gained weight, sitting in at a healthy 26lbs. 8.5oz but she is learning to eat while sitting at the table with her family.  I did not do this. God did this.  He knew what she needed and provided for her just as He promised.

My sweet angel has done more for me than I have ever or could ever do for her!  Through Carrington I have seen and felt more connected to God.  He was always and will always be here for me but it wasn't until Carrington that I acknowledged that.  Carrington has inspired me to help so many little children who wait and wait for their mommy and daddy to come rescue them and take them home.  She has grown my heart ten fold, or as my son would say 6499.  I have been given an opportunity to mother this amazing child of God.  Thank you Jesus for trusting me, believing in me to raise such a beautiful and sweet little girl!

Mommy loves you Carrington Ann Burman!!

Priceless Pictures

This past December our family was gifted with a photo shoot of all of us by our friends the Landeros family.  It is hard enough to get 7 children looking at the camera much less my little ones who always seem to be not focused on the camera.  Now this is for your average run of the mill photographer, but my friends really took their time and listened to what each of my children are like plus they let me pick a location that was meaningful to us.  Carlos snapped away while Heather would work on getting the attention of the children then they went home and worked hard and gave us our final product last night at our spaghetti dinner fundraiser.  Oh my I think I must have looked at these pictures at least a hundred times since then.  The pictures truly capture my children and their personalities.  This is truly a special gift for our family.  

Madelaine Grace-14
She is so grown up and beautiful!

Owen Reece-7
My serious one.

Hudson Quinn-7
Is that smile contagious or what?!

Evelyn Rose-7
Just look at her beautiful smile!

Reagan Faith-6
She is simply beautiful!

Ethan Cole-5
I love, love those cheeks!

Carrington Ann-4
Pretty Princess

Burman Boys
(they look less than thrilled but still are so handsome)

Burman Girls
Oh my so much beauty!

Burman Bunch-2011
(prior to our boys)

I Love Them

My hope is that my children will always be there for each other.  That is how we raise them to be.  Siblings are the most special of friends.  No one of them is more special than the other, more favored, or more loved.  Each of my children is unique but the one thing that brings them together in unity is the fact that they are each other's siblings.  

I love just how much Ethan and Reagan both love and spoil Carrington.  Today Ethan asked me if Carrington knows how to talk like him and I told him not yet.  His response was " well I will teach her because I am her big brother!"  He also went on to say how he will teach her how to eat snacks, play baseball and football, and how to go potty on the toilet so she can wear underwear like him (yeah now won't that be an interesting one).  Ethan and Carrington are only 10 months apart but because she came home the size and ability of a baby Ethan calls her his baby.  For me, the bonding between Ethan and Carrington has been very special.  I know he will always take care of her, look out for her, and of course teach her.  That is what big brothers are supposed to do!

Ethan says he loves me and will protect me from all the dinosaurs.
That makes me happy!

We sure are silly aren't we Ethan?!

Reagan and Carrington also share a very special bond: they literally grew up together (at least for the first 3 years of Carrington's life).  They lived in the same orphanage until Reagan was transferred.  We adopted both girls at the same time.  From the moment Reagan and Carrington reunited (after we broke them out of the orphanage and institution) Reagan has been a little mom to Carrington.  She always alerts us to any noise Carrington makes (not that we don't hear her) and she always wants to know if it is time for Carrington to eat or sleep. Reagan is so sweet and loving to Carrington which in and of itself is amazing considering Reagan never had any example of the love of a family while in the orphanage.  Brian and I truly believe that once Reagan was transferred to the institution is when she blossomed.  I believe it was there that she learned how to nurture to the best she could.  I know in my heart of hearts that one day Reagan and Carrington will be inseparable.

God could not have planned any better the route to the creation of our family!  He knew who would join us and when.  My children complete me; the me God intended me to be!

Oh Reagan you sure are a fun sister.  You give me lots to laugh about!

I love you Reagan!

Love of Two Sisters

10 years separate them.

Carrington rolled herself into Madelaine's room to see what was going on

Born with different genes.

Madelaine was just talking with Carrington while showing her what she was doing.

Vastly different beginnings.

Carrington smiles whenever Big Sis talks to her

Now that is a look.

But what these two have in common is that they are...

SISTERS!

When a mommy walks by her teenagers room half expecting to find her listening to music instead of working and half hoping she is going to eagerly jump up and say "how can I help you mom?"  I, instead, saw a sight that melts any mother's heart:  Her oldest daughter spending time doing what she likes to do and doing it with her littlest sister.  

Quite often Brian and I are asked "how does Madelaine feel about having siblings with special needs?" or "do you think it is fair for Madelaine to have to feel like she has to take care of her siblings all of the time?" and even "Are you expecting Madelaine to take care of her siblings after you are gone?"  I know these are legitimate questions because they are things people are thinking.  But if you would indulge me a minute I would like to share not only my perspective on this as a Mom but also as a child of God.  Madelaine is and has been my whole world since the day I knew I was carrying her.  She is my first born, my oldest daughter, and my hero.  I always share with her that while she is our world  the world is not about her and there are so many people out there and each one of us has a purpose.  Madelaine has a heart of gold for children with special needs.  She is neither scared nor intimidated by those who may look, act, or think differently than her.  This has not come from having siblings with special needs because Madelaine has not always had her siblings.  This is instead a gift God has given unto her.  From an early age Madelaine was a thinker and an encourager.  Life is no different for Madelaine since her siblings arrived.  She still is expected to do her chores, study hard, and be respectful.  What has changed is now Madelaine has 5 siblings who give her a chance to share all that she is with them, who are always ready and willing to give her a hug, and more than happy to accompany her to her room to 'hang out' with her.  

I love watching the love my oldest daughter has for ALL of her siblings.  She knows their needs better than sometimes her Daddy and I do.  If there is an issue chances are Madelaine is right there trying to solve it.  Yes, Madelaine often has to wait until nap time or later at night to get some help with a subject she is studying but that's okay because then it is just her and I and we can focus on that.  She often times is called upon to chase down a runner or maybe don hazardous materials gear as she must change a diaper that even the Haz Mat team would refuse.  But she also is looked up to for all she does.  Madelaine is the genius who can turn on the Wii (mommy still has no clue how to) or the best sandwich maker this side of the Rocky Mountains, and for the love she shares.  We have discussed which room Carrington will go to once we feel it is okay for her to leave our room and Madelaine spoke up with "my room"!  Carrington is going to be Madelaine's shadow I think.  Where Big Sis goes so too will be a miniature version known as the Princess. Life for Madelaine is one we hope holds so many opportunities for Madelaine to share with others her love for her siblings.  While her love and devotion to her siblings may be hard for many to comprehend I do believe that my girls are going to always be there for each other in ways only God could have so intricately laid out.

Brian heard about such a love on the radio the other day.  This story is about 2 brothers and the bond between them.  Get your kleenex ready!

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=7208128

What a Change!

From a hurting, scared, and nearly dying child...

March 15, 2011 leaving Ukraine
a very sick girl.

March 20, 2011 in U.S.A. @
Cook Children's Hospital

to this amazing, beautiful, healthy

PRINCESS!!

Look at the effects of L-O-V-E!!!!!!

I love just how big our Princess has gotten!

Tonight it was date night for Brian and I.  Our caregiver Sarah was taking care of the children while Brian and I went out to spend some quality time together.  Okay so I know you all are just aching to find out what does a couple like Brian and I do for our date night so I will reveal to you the secret behind our romance:

we eat dinner with a coupon after we have spent 2 hours asking for businesses to donate to our silent auction for the boys' spaghetti dinner.

Oh I am sorry are you unable to read that?!  What I said was we sit on a park bench while feeding the ducks and watching our grass grow.  HaHa! seriously we did go for dinner and even talked about a couple of big people things.  I even had Brian sit next to me on the bench seat as I held his hand. I am sure we looked like we were honeymooners and at our ripe old young age.  When we came home Sarah had everyone all ready for bed and even some in bed so that was nice.  Then I went into the living room and saw my beautiful princess.  She looked like she had grown since we were gone and I am pretty sure we were not gone all that long.  My goodness she has thighs!  Oh what a precious sight for these eyes!  

I happened to be working on a power point presentation (ok so honestly I am not doing the power point myself as I don't even really know what it is but rather a friend is helping me so all I have to do is gather pictures) and had come across the pictures of Carrington when her legs were smaller that her arms today.  Every little inch of her body God created and even though I was not with her for the first 3 1/2 years of her life I still get to watch her grow.  She amazes us daily and not just with the milestones she is achieving but just her overall appearance and personality.  Carrington is our little princess and this mommy sure loves every inch of her!

Giggle Good Time

Just a few little somethings to make you smile!

One of the greatest of joys I receive from being Carrington's mommy is to watch and listen as she giggles.  There does not always seem to be a specific reason she giggles other than she wants to. Isn't that just beyond words?  Carrington can giggle because she WANTS to.  I think about how long she went without even wanting to make a noise for fear of retaliation from the workers and now, NOW, she makes more than enough noise.  Even as I type this post late at night Carrington is over in her crib just laughing, making silly noises, and scooting all around. I think she is trying to out do Daddy's snoring:)  Oh and when she giggles just look at her cheeks!  She has such beautiful high cheeks.  When we brought her home the only thing we saw for cheeks was skin that was stretched over cheek bones.  Now today we see rosy round cheeks on the roundest of faces.  This is better than cable television any day!  God has put a song in her heart and as the children's song, This Little Light of Mine, says: "this little light of mine I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."  Carrington is the most beautiful and brightest of lights and it is her light that has led our family down a path full of God's blessings! The path may be bumpy, it may be steep, and it may even be full of pot holes but we have the light of God shining on it so how can we not follow it?!