How can one put a value on a life when we ourselves have been created by God Himself? For me personally I love life and the life I have been given. My blessing has been that I was given life and in that life I have been able to make choices that have led me down paths of various natures. Some of the paths have been rocky, some smooth, quite a few have been
exhilarating, and some have just been
indescribable. Becoming a mom just a mere 14 years ago set me on a path that I would not trade for the life of me because it has been that path that has given me the life I so love. God has blessed me with a family who fills my life with joy, happiness, and most of all LOVE!
This is not the case for so many children who are dwelling in orphanages in Eastern Europe and whom have special needs. Sure we have seen the news stories, articles in magazines and even heard stories from others but yet heads turn away. This is not something people want to fathom. It is easier to turn off the news, put down the article, or walk away from hearing a story. Children languishing in these orphanages do not have a choice. They cannot walk away from the abuse, neglect, and lack of love they face each day. Each child, regardless of physical or mental differences, was created by the very God we pray to for safety, health, and change of circumstances. Not one single child has ever asked to be left at the baby house when they were born only to live alone. For the past week my heart has been with just a fraction of these precious angels whose only need is for love. L-O-V-E. Not a pony, or the newest video game or brand name clothing. In fact, these little ones were just waiting for a dry diaper, any diaper. All of their dignity stripped away. Hair shaved so there was little maintenance.
Layed in cribs with a pacifier stuck in their mouths to discourage any desire for food. Even medicated to ensure as little resistance as possible. Yes, I am talking about children with special needs who live in Eastern Europe. This was not a story for any news channel. This is what I encountered for 5 days this week. It is something I
encountered last year for 5 weeks and once again this year for another 8 weeks.
God allowed doors to be opened so I could touch the hands of a precious little boy who simply needs a surgery that would forever change his life. A surgery my daughter has had and now blossoms with opportunities before her. One little girl was not even recognizable as a girl because her head was shaved much like my
Carrington was. As I brushed my hand ever so gently on her cheek a very weak smile came across her face as her eyes just seemed to plead for someone to
relieve her of this sentence. A smell. A smell of filth and neglect is so hard to share with you because it is not something we can really know or relate to here in our comfortable lives. This room was filled with 9 children who looked as if they were waiting for death to rescue them. When does one consider death a rescue? Not a single child had a smile on their face because they knew Mommy and Daddy would be in to tend to them. Each time
Carrington wakes up she has a gaggle of people just waiting to dote on her as she is changed into fresh diapers and ever so pretty clothes during which time she is showered with more kisses than I can count. I listen as she makes her own version of a symphony from her bed late at night. There was not a sound to be heard from 9 children. It was more
eery than walking alone through the dark in a strange part of town. These angels are living in a constant darkness that has etched its way not only into my mind and heart but my soul as well. Oh my the suffering I saw this week! It was nothing new to me since I have seen this times before through my adoption of my 5 children so why am I impacted so? Because these are precious children that is why! One little boy, who is of a culture that is despised by those who are to care for him, sat in a walker tied to a radiator with no sign of life in his eyes. I watched from afar as he simply sat slumped over in this walker all alone and not even aware we were there.
Carrington spent most of her life slumped over in a high chair, overlooked and forgotten simply because of her heritage and the extra chromosome God chose to bless her with. So much of my Princess' life was spent in pain and loneliness until one day God called us to bring her home. This little boy has such a beautiful little soul inside of him I know this. Slowly I bent down to let him know I was there but not to alarm him. After a couple of minutes I moved my hand to his handsome face to gently stroke his cheek. It was not too long before I noticed his eyes lined by the darkest of dark eyelashes, that would make any
momma's heart melt, meet mine with such a hollowness to them that the tears sprang forth like a river bursting forth with spring thaw. Trying to raise his head was such a task yet he did and I reached forth to kiss him just as I do my sweet
Carrington. He had to know even just for a moment that he was loved and that he has value, especially to his Creator. Would a Mommy or Daddy come to rescue him with open arms? I honestly cannot tell you yes because his country enacted a new law which prohibits the adoption of children with certain special needs before the age of 5. Would anyone notice if I scooped him up in my arms and took him home with me? NO!
Ok so maybe the people at passport control but not because they cared for him but merely because I do not have paperwork for him saying I am willing to do whatever it takes, sacrifice whatever I need to, and devote all I am to loving him. That day was such an
excruciatingly painful day because I did not walk out of those doors with his precious life in my hands. But in a way I did. I did because I will share his story and the story of all the other children who languish day after day not aware of just how miraculously and wonderfully they were created. I have walked away with a piece of a sweet little boy forever
emblazoned in my heart.
Doors need to be opened. Hearts need to be awakened. Actions need to be taken. God so commanded us to take care of His children. He did not segregate which children are to be taken care of. He simply said CHILDREN. Our family, like so many many other families, have been called to open our doors, awaken our hearts, and take action by God our Father. It has taken me some time to open my heart to what God has called me to and I can only wish I had paid attention sooner but that cannot be altered so, I move forward with the knowledge that God will equip me with what is needed to answer His call. He never promised me this would be a journey without heartache or barriers. Both of which I have encountered. Heartache for children like my
Carrington who approach the doorstep of death because of the very ones taking care of them or because of the lack of a very simple medical intervention. Heartache for those who do not understand the calling God has given my husband and I. Barriers have reared their ugly head at every turn. People who are not following through on their job to complete paperwork needed for our children's adoption and those who have shown their lack of faith in God with the treatment of those who try to love these precious ones. Financial barriers loom over every adoption. Yet, when I stop and look back on these heartaches and barriers I see the hand of God simply command them away. That day I walked out of those doors I was on my knees asking God to help them, to help me help these children to realize their true indescribable value. I know He will answer my prayers. God will bring people into my path that also share a heart for children abandoned not only by their family but also by their society because they were deemed not of any value. How can I spend another day not impacted by the lives I saw in that tiny room so void of emotion, life, and love? The answer is I will not. I
will, each and every day, knock on any and every door I encounter to share the stories, ask for help, and push forward for the
eradication of an orphan crisis. I will pledge my life to finding families for children who are waiting for families to brush off all the neglect and find the true treasure lying under years of heartache and abuse. As we move forward with the adoption of
Teagan and
Kelten I am learning more and more to trust that God will equip us with the money we need to move the financial barrier of our 3rd international adoption in less than 2 years. I will seek the people God has planned to help us move through this process with support and love. And I will do what God has asked of me as a Mommy that to many may seem worthless or too exhausting for the undertaking. After all, I am one of God's magnificent creations and I see these children who have been touched by the fingerprints of God.